The Digital Reader

There  are days I feel I have luck like this.

According to Joseph Robert Lewis, his first ebook will be published in 1 February and this will trigger a catastrophic series of events leading to the destruction of ebooks about 45 days later. (I like to get an early start on things, so today I’ll working on the logistics of getting an angry mob to his house with torches and pitchforks.)

Why is it his fault? He has a history:

Item One – In the early 1990s, a young Joe began collecting comic books, which was entirely reasonable for a 12-year-old boy. But at that same moment, thousands of middle-aged investors caused the great comic book bubble of the mid-1990s, an event that almost completely destroyed all of the major comic book publishers. This event also ensured that my comic collection would be forever worthless because of the glut of comics printed during this period.

Item Two – In the early 2000s, a college student Joe began investing his savings, which was entirely reasonable for a young man with surplus income. After some research, he placed a large sum in a technology mutual fund. Roughly 45 days later, the Internet technology bubble destroyed that investment, which never recovered.

Item Three – Several years later, a young adult Joe bought a house, which was entirely reasonable for a young man with a family. After some research, he bought an average house in an average neighborhood. Roughly 45 days later, the housing bubble destroyed the value of that house, which is still in recovery today.

You might want to write his name and personal info on paper. I don’t know quite how the calamity will happen; it could take out your computers, too.

Then again, I’ve always believed in predestination. Since we know that he’s going to cause this disaster, what say we string him up now and prevent it? Any thoughts?