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The 6 Worst Google Reader Alternatives

July 13th, 2013 by · 2 Comments · humor, News Reader

google-reader-logoIt’s been some 4 months since Google announced the Readerpocalypse, and in that time I have seen dozens upon dozens of proposed GR alternatives, including quite a few very good ones.

I have been blogging about those alternatives rather frequently (here, here), but today I would like to take a different approach. Rather than show you some useful alternatives, today I will cover a few that are not effective replacements.

  1. Visiting repeatedly. The revered news reader service is dead, and Google  isn’t going to bring it back (no matter how many times you check that page). That’s why I suggest that you limit the pilgrimages to no more than once a day.
  2. 423605724_2a694fb166[1]Calling bloggers and asking them if they have posted any new articles. As much as we might like the ego boost from having our readers call and ask what we’re doing, no one really has the time to filed phone calls (also, email is faster and preferred). Nevertheless, you can call me if you like. I will always answer: 202-456-1414.
  3. Hiring an intern. Is it really a good idea to have an unpaid college intern spend all their time keeping an eye on the latest news for you? Surely you can find a better use for that person’s time. Oh, you say that they are an English Lit major? In that case, never mind.
  4. Telegrams. Before RSS feeds there were telegrams, but unfortunately this  170-year-old technology was retired by Western Union in 2006. So if you are waiting to get a telegram with your latest news, well, you shouldn’t hold your breath. (I wasn’t looking forward to giving you mouth to mouth, anyway.)5602258323_1416b5209b[1]
  5. Browsing all your favorite websites one by one, 24 hours a day /  7 days a week. Again, we all appreciate the attention but there are better uses for your time (have the intern do it).  BTW, that ring around the eye look doesn’t suit you.
  6. Asking random strangers if they knew whether your favorite sites had published new posts. They probably don’t know, but the nice people with the long-sleeved jacket might.

Do you have any suggestions?


images by Alex Halavais, erietta


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